Ignore them. They hate that you are breaking from mediocrity. That you are hoping to get published despite the really bad odds. That you are trying to publish a book that has so little chance of getting published, that you don’t care about money above all things. That you care about matters of the heart over material goods. That you succeeded despite their negative words. That you went above and beyond them.
People like that hate it when they see your heart shine and suceed beyond them. That effort and perseverance is sometimes enough. That the risk is worth the failures on the way to success.
They hate you for all your talents and successes. Because on some level you are happy and they are lost and are not.
Today is one of those days I remember the naysayers, because I am winning an impossible hand yet again.
Or in less elegant words: Suck it.
Because the best revenge is succeeding where they only failed. And they failed because they quit.
I was recently banned from Absolute Write and I think it’s for the correct conditions I was banned.
This does not mean I incited the owners to do so, but if I’m going to get banned I may as well be banned for standing up for myself.
And unlike the owner, I will not swear, I will not use rude language, or bad mouth them in immature and unresearched ways, because you know what? I’m better than that. I was taught maturity and kindness towards others and I recognize boundaries in others and myself.
Under the conditions I was banned:
1. We were discussing a cover which had cultural misapproporiation all over it. The person at the top was complaining about the cover and saying that it was racist. People, who were self-declared white piled in and said they didn’t think so and would wait for someone Chinese.
So I weighed in, annoyed at the OP’s use of false equivalence because there are intricacies to racism people on the outside don’t get. (I took an Ethnic studies class and got an A, so I think I qualify). For example, the African American experience is not the same as the Asian American Experience, and bringing parallels to that kinda cheapens both experiences.
I was not aware that the OP was Taiwanese when I wrote the post, but I also went over the entire cover for graphic design issues and cultural misappropriation, including the blonde-haired woman on the front wearing a qipao without quite understanding the history of what a qipao (cheongsam) really comes from. I said I would defer to someone Chinese who had a better handle of the history, such as a fellow Chinese person I knew on the board.
The mod came in and pointed out that the original poster was Taiwanese and that they would be more of an expert than me (who is Korean, if you can’t tell from the short bio).
So in PM I pointed out that I didn’t know the original poster was Taiwanese and that the things I said were backed by slhuang, who is Chinese. Everything I said was correct. And also that she probably didn’t mean it, but Taiwan and taiwanese are touchy about the subject of being the “same” as China, since it’s a separate country now, with its own president. (One of which was recently a woman, BTW).
She cursed me out, threatened me, said that the board was privately owned and then in the forum, through sock puppeting insulted me and said that I was doing cultural misappropriation by writing about India.
I apologized to the OP and pointed out that Heo Hwang Ok is an ancestor of mine, with links to the wikipedia page and that the whole point of the book was to correct Korea’s mistakes on India and that I’d been worrying so much that people from the subcontinent of India were saying that I should stop worrying. I asked about elephants, put it in, took it out and I’d taken Hinduism class before, so I knew the history of India fairly well within that context. I linked to the page for cultural misappropriation on wikipedia and also gave links and definitions to correct her and added a link to the PoC forum.
She cursed me again, and threatened that I get banned because you aren’t supposed to criticize the mods in public. You mean pointing out a factual error on her part that I wish not to spread because it looks like racism and that white people are “not allowed” to write on PoCs? (Which I do not believe. I think if you research and try hard enough, get it checked and double checked, minding that these are real people with real respect, it’s fine to write about another country.)
BTW, I also took anthropology. I speak French, Japanese, Korean, English and I’m trying, though a little fruitlessly to learn Mandarin. (I’m pretty knowledgeable about East Asia since I’ve been working on it, though I still admit, I don’t know about China as much as I would like to, which I also stated). (Medi claims she majored in anthropology, but according to her real profile she majored in Literature.)
That was round one.
2. The conditions underneath which I was banned was saying I wanted to use the term Chick Lit and to me, it meant X, but I’m not asking anyone else to agree with it, but to NOT go on and refute it, because I noticed it was part of the site culture.
Yes, yes, this is under the conditions I was banned. For pointing out something that was true within the website culture and for showing the mods that it was true when they refuted it and then repeated exactly what I said.
For saying that PoC Chick Lit has a small part of the market and that I wasn’t sure my novel could get published. The exact conditions underneath the PoC forum was created and modded by Kitty. Because it is oddly timed with me making the same exact complaint just before the PoC forum was created. For making the exact same complaint and seeing if it had changed, I was banned.
I think being banned for standing up against racism, even subtle is a good way to go. Go ahead, ban people for being PoC and trying to write PoC books and pointing out that the market share is smaller and want that changed. ’cause I know that the owner of the site is not courteous enough to realize that the issue of Taiwan being the same as China is a touchy issue for Taiwanese and hasn’t ever published any fiction in her life.
But I have. I’ve published a story set in Japan, very carefully researched and I pulled my hair worrying about getting everything correct.
Respect Your Fellow Writer rule is apparently not the real rule in AW, but I’m fine with that. Soon others will also find out that this is true.
ETA November 28, 2013:
Oh, and Medi or Mac or whatever handle you’re going by Lisa, I wish the best luck to you and your husband in Los Angeles (unless you do live out of a storage unit, in which case I’m sorry to hear that–must be tough on your family).I hope you found the sock puppeting you did after I was banned outright fun. I sure did laugh at you saying I was ESL.
Sorry, but I was ESL only for three months when I was four and five respectively BEFORE going to kindergarten. I went preschool to College–I think my command of English is pretty good. And I do speak it well with a NE American accent to boot, no trace of Korean. If you want to go over small errors, go ahead, I’m not that petty. But I’m cackling with laughter. It was really entertaining. Especially since it shows you never read the full original post where I said that. Thank you for showing your racism and adoptism–it was a really good demonstration of your true feelings.