Archive for the 'Life Philosophy' Category
My Quest to Quit Writing Always Fails
So I went to sleep yesterday lamenting that I couldn’t figure a way out of what my subconscious told me, “Hey! It’s time to rewrite.” Oh joys, I hate you. As usual, the old subconscious punished me by sending me a weird dream that I wish I could remember all of because it was like a 1920′s hardboiled detective thing only with Giant Monsters in it. There was a whale-looking thing that was flying with two tails. Made Godzilla and the Kaiju team look normal. All the usual characters were there as well. You had the fair maid, the scientist/skeptic, and then the helpless bystanders.
Yeah, my subconscious punishes me for not writing. Why can’t I quit writing? Because my subconscious thinks it is Picasso and me, my conscious thinks it is a nutball that needs to shut up once in a while. Why can’t I just put the creative side and the intuitive side on hold once in a while and shut up? I guess because at some point when I do that my subconscious always finds a way to win the battle. It either sends a cool dream or when I ignore it I suddenly find myself doing something that I shouldn’t be doing, and blinking at myself.
When I don’t write I talk to myself a lot, stare at people and wonder what their life story is, often inserting the absurd into the mix. My mind wanders over their life story and I want to craft something from the fact that their shoelaces are untied this very moment.
Maybe once you are a writer you always are? Or maybe that’s just me. Stories have been part of my life and coping mechanism for so long that I often find myself thinking two thoughts at the same time–one about my story in the background and in the foreground I have whatever I’m talking about to the other person. Probably makes me look very unengaged. Maybe it’s the lack of proper sleep since the bed bugs, but I think it’s also a lifetime of loving stories so much that they permeate my every day existence.
Anyway, Subconscious, if you’re listening: I hate you, even if you know better than I do.
Who you are v. Personality v. How you define yourself
“Life is a series of choices. Big combination of moments. Little ones that add up to big ones that create who you are. You are letting others make those choices for you, Finn. You are letting them decide who you are going to be.”– Mr. Schuster on Glee Season 1, Episode 8.
Who you are is a sum of events and choices, some of them inside, and some outside of your control from the beginning of the universe.
Personality is how people perceive those sums of choices, often weighting the choices that you made over those that were made for you.
How you define yourself is the choosing and the selecting of those choices that you or others made over time.
This is how personality can change moment to moment, but who you are can and can’t change at the same time. You make new choices–that’s a new part of who you are. You are percieved making those choices, that’s personality through the filter of how other people define themselves and who they are.
People often try to rob that power of making choices from others. This can be in the form of rape, violence, natural disaster, but the power can be won back from those things and transform the victim–and the victim thought into a survivor. http://www.soul-expressions-abuse-recovery.com/Victim-to-Survivor.html Also when you forgive. http://learningtoforgive.com/
I think once you speak out, you become an activist. An activist is a person that looks beyond themselves, and finds the power to talk about their hurt in a way that people who have not suffered as they have are persuaded or prevented from suffering the same fate. This creates other activists who join the cause, making the cause stronger.
Once you get enough people to agree with the cause you go from activist to revolutionary.
The journey here is from knowing who you are, to being comfortable with who you are, to taking responsibility to being able to see the grand world outside of yourself. It’s not the losses you have suffered and only you have suffered, but everyone connected to what happened without the blame, the anger, the headaches and the madness of trying to point fingers.
A person who can see their own suffering is not as brave as the person who can see others people’s suffering and help them.