Archive for the 'Memoirette' Category

Day 5: When in Doubt, Blame your Subconscious

So death is imminent, but I’m in a pretty good mood after going to an interview and an audition. The audition, for the most part was for kicks. I have to admit that to some part.

I spent most of my time going to the audition cursing LA and cursing life and cursing everything, muttering like a madwoman, because even with the Google maps miniature maps thing checked I couldn’t read a damned thing on the map, because said map put a line through the STREET NAME. *shakes fist at Google* Why can’t they have, “I’m the dumber part of dumb and dumber on the directions label, such as the stop/street that comes before the one you want and the one after? And then clearly mark the street names so they don’t get run over by the line when you print it out so you aren’t completely lost? Sighs–I’m always thinking user experience when I get pissed at websites.

That or Google, please build me a quantum transporter. I really want one after 10 years of living in LA and still hating cars.

Still, I made it, made the best of it and even if I end up homeless, at least I rocked my own world a little. Screw the whole “Asians hate other Asians in show business” fabricated lie of my childhood. If it makes money, I’ll do it.

I suddenly remember how boring auditions are–I’ve been to at least 2-3–they never work out to be on time. But I kinda forgot all that when I was 15-16 and gave up the whole, I want to be a model thing. By then my head was halfway into various now-crappy novels I had at the time, which are probably in a landfill under someone’s house/recycled properly. (The rest are in documents I can’t open because .doc didn’t exist as a universal format yet.)

So working hard to get past my financial death–but not sad enough to not make jokes about it.

If I end up homeless, I’m going to blame my art-loving subconscious for getting me here in the first place.

Day 4: Was going to conquer a street but…

I was going to conquer a whole street handing out resumés, but suddenly I got three calls in a row to tend to and I couldn’t leave the house.

I have an attitude towards everything to give it my best shot no matter what I am doing. I play to full tilt (though don’t party hard like drugs), I work hard and I do everything to the best of my abilities. Mediocre isn’t a best descriptor for me. I’m either all in or all out.

I have to wonder if this trait is a little annoying at times, but I think if you aren’t willing to put your effort into something, then it means you aren’t having fun and if life isn’t fun, then what is the point?

That’s why I decided to try something new outside of the box, but I might be deluding myself because I kinda feel stuck in a bubble world after not working for so long.

I can tell you this: Being poor sucks. It really, really sucks and a whole, whole lot.

What rules: Making yourself feel wanted by the world and earning everything you have fairly.