I want one. I wish I could have one when I create stories, but I think mine is a baby.

1. All of the People of Color are either minor characters or antagonists. Where are the protagonist main character of color? What? There are none?

Either play a fair hand and actually have protagonists, supporting and antagonists of color, OR be consistent and flush them out. Don’t do that half-hearted thing where you make the only black character die a sudden death and then the other black character Middle Eastern and a slave. It’s called that R word that people hate flung around. (Probably because it is).

And yes, it does earn an eye roll from me when people say, “But that’s not racist.” or “You’re too sensitive” or “She’s not “really” Latina”. Or “This is based on Disney characters.” “Watch something else”

Mulan, Pochahantas, Jasmine, Aladdin, friggin’ Frog Prince… all weak excuses for side lining PoC’s–you can slide other folktales and folk stories because the title of the show is “Once Upon a Time” Not “Grimm’s Fairytales.” What? Fairytale land is all white? Yeah, right. Lame. You can soooo bring in at least one of the other Disney movies into a protagonist role. And besides, Prince Charming in the Fairytales was always stupid and nondescript. Telling me that in this day and age one of them couldn’t be black, East Asian, or Latin?

Even if you don’t hitch yourself to Disney fairytales (or apparently only the white ones) there are a host of other fairytales worldwide you can legitimately use that are similar. Cinderella–> Turkey Girl from the Navajo. Maybe because I’m such a folktale/fairytale geek, I find it harder to swallow.

I’m also complaining because LOST did so much better on this issue and for me, it’s a big, huge disappointment that they didn’t even put half an effort into getting it right, when they KNOW better. (It’s worse when they put in nods to LOST and I can just feel the nail being pounded into my heart harder.)

2. Adoptism
What is the chance that all characters will all have crappy Adoptive Parents with the EXACT same views on Foster/Adoptive parents across the board? C’mon! Seriously. I can’t even get a board of Adoptive parents to sit still through what most people would call “minor” issues. The problem isn’t that you put Adopted persons in or that you put Adoptive parents and Relinquishing parents in–it’s that you put only one POV–which is kinda of bad in the first place. No adoptee I’ve run into agrees with me on all the issues of adoption nor have our fates turned out exactly the same. Not even my own brother. You expect me to believe that over 5 characters have the same fate towards adoption?

3. It smells like Lost.
The stories don’t have a direction and it’s gonna fizzle because the story they are telling is only character-centric, but fails to have a larger moving story–one tiny step forward–a bunch of empty politics, and a crappy ending are in the future of this show, then they’ll close like Lost–just as lost as Lost.

I have issues when only one POV is shown through multiple characters in a story with a diverse character base. I hope that Saturday Night live at least catches onto it and parodies it in a harsh, harsh, kick-your–butt way.

I would like to thank the hard work of all the editors, reviewers, betas, alphas, agents that read my questionable quality stories and made this possible. And I will be forging ahead with a bright spirit that one day I will write well enough to please you. Smiles all around for persisting this long. Hi-five? No?

I will not be grandstanding at this point and complaining about authors, agents, and how everyone is blind! I can write better… and there are always more stories on my plate than I can handle. Career Suicide and jumping off of buildings isn’t my style.

The problem I have with traditional coleslaw is that it is near to textureless, tasteless and relies solely on the mayo to convey its flavor. This sad dish is a result of not being able to trust your flavors in the dish and think of something besides the store-bought mayo mess of goop. This recipe balances sour, sweet, acidic and still has that smooth feel–without the mayo.

As with anything, use real ingredients that are in season–if you can trust your ingredients, then the result will become greater.

Serves about 6.

3 tablespoons salt (sea salt is best)
1 head of cabbage, shredded
3 lemons’ juice (fresh)
1 lemon zested
1 apple, julienned
1 Asian ear (or bosc pear)
8 oz of raisins
4 large tablespoons of yogurt
pepper (Fresh)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
4 julienned carrots
[3 oz Nuts]
[8 oz craisins]

Combine salt, zest, 3 fresh lemons’s juice, and shredded cabbage together. Let rest for half an hour. Add the rest of the ingredients together with the cabbage mixture. The longer you let the coleslaw sit in the fridge, the better it will taste.

This isn’t, “I’ve gotten myself into a hole and I’ve written half of it, help me to get out” It’s I have part of an idea and I need someone to help me complete the idea, give me a character and setting.

The truth: If you aren’t passionate about the idea you won’t be able to see it past the first draft. Getting it from someone else won’t feel that special. I think the best thing to do is incubate it.

And BTW, brainstorming with other people doesn’t work: http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/08/brainstorming-reloaded.php We like our own ideas.

2. Problemitize.

Not the same thing as fishing or brainstorming. Brainstorming you have a clue where you want to go. Problemitizing is used as an excuse not to write and make the story yet more perfect in your head so you won’t write it. It doesn’t give you a game plan, but hours of entertainment on how perfect the story will be, so when you get the precious 200 words on the page of your supposed 200,000 word epic, you feel defensive, even though it was 200 words of raw info dump on the plot/story you really didn’t write yet.

3. My Manuscript is so Precious.

People will steal it! I know it. They will see the first draft and see the p9olished gem underneath the pile of poo I have on top of it and then–and then–they will get it *gasp* published as it is and oh my god, people will love it and I won’t get my 10,000 dollar advance.

Umm…

4. Publishing isn’t easy, but it SHOULD be.

Right, because you are that special that you think your manuscript should be published post hast with the other manuscripts. We have gatekeepers for a reason. They tell about quality control. It’s not just arbitrary. Think of it positively instead, it’s 15-20 years to polish your writing away from humiliation.

5. The REVENGE critique.

You hurt me so bad so I’m going to make the same comments on your manuscript because I’m mad at you.

Are you in kindergarten?

Even worse is the revenge critique because someone else got the comment and the person isn’t even involved.

Has your bank finances ever gotten down to less than 20 dollars in your account? Mine has.

Have you ever lived with cockroaches AND bed bugs in a cheap apartment? Mine does.

Have you lived in an apartment without air conditioning and heat? Well, here you go.

Don’t have a daughter to take care of. I’m too poor. I’m also too poor to find a way towards welfare.

I think I’m a shoe-in for great author if having a financially poor past is a prerequisite.

You know why Microsoft Word is annoying? Because it makes decisions for you–that is why Microsoft Works was often laughed at as Microsoft fail.

If I make a mistake–go ahead and tell me. But if I really want to do it, let me say write out an image URL and style sheet into the theme editor. Let me put in commented text into WordPress taking out php code that I wish to store. Sorry, wordpress, but you aren’t smarter than me, I’ve been making UIs before you were born. You aren’t that special with your special PHP code that one has to memorize to use you again.